The Gift of Death

About 10 calendar months ago, I was told by my physician in Capital Of Thailand that I had three different types of cancer, a tumour in the brain, one in my left lung and tegument malignant neoplastic disease on my human face and other parts of my body. At the same time, my married woman was planning to go back to United States to take attention of her female parent who was dying from cancer. Talk about your "three-strikes-and-you're-out" rule! I told the physician that I did not desire to hear any more. I did not desire to cognize the prognosis, what were option treatments nor how much clip he thought I had left. I told him I needed to take a walking and make some thinking. I never went back nor have got I ever looked back. I went to a beautiful nearby parkland and walked, prayed, meditated and did some serious thinking.

I had to do some important decisions. The first determination I made was not to state my wife. Whereas I knew this would make a state of affairs that would be highly problematic future on, the first precedence was to acquire her place to her indisposed female parent who did not have got much clip left. I did not desire to put her in a place in which she was forced to take between being with me and her mother. She had been detached from her household for 10 years. Her female parent and father needed her more than than I. Arsenic things turned out, she did acquire place and was able to take attention of her Ma until she died. She is still there now taking attention of her father, who also have cancer. Regardless of the possible repercussions, I experience I made the best pick for her, given the options. True love always put the individual we love as the figure 1 priority.

Thus began a personal journeying that have been most interesting and rewarding. I was forced to discontinue working and our fiscal state of affairs deteriorated rapidly. I began having terror and anxiousness onslaughts and flashbacks. I couldn't eat or sleep. I was lonely, afraid and became totally isolated. I lost touching with all my friends. I rarely ventured out of my bedroom. I could not pay my rent nor did I have got enough money for groceries. I was on my manner out. I packed my back pack and set it by my door, determined that I would pick it up when the clip was right and caput off into the mounts to decease alone, just as my ancestors, Native Americans, had done in the past. I had accepted decease but hadn't yet learned how to encompass it. That was a lesson yet to come.

One night, I received a totally unexpected phone call from a friend life in Phuket. He told me his Tai married woman had "seen" me in a dreaming and knew I was in trouble, urging him to name me immediately. I told him I was all right and that I had made the determination to head for the mountains. I thanked him for the old age we had been together as friends and workmates and wished him well. Then I hung up.
Two years later, he showed up on my doorstep, arranged to hive away most of our property with a friend of his and told me he was bringing me to Phuket and would take attention of me as long as necessary. I was in no place to argue, I must admit. We flew to Phuket the followers eventide and I was introduced to my current surroundings, a nice 8X12 ft room where I now reside. I have got a great position of the mountains, sundowns and dawns and it is quiet, clean and comfortable. I pass a great trade of clip in meditation, supplication and thinking. I am so thankful for my friends' generousness and love.

At first, I was preparing myself to die. It is not the first clip I have got faced death, but it was the first clip I had clip to believe about it. The other incidents that decease and I were engaged were the consequences of armed combat or sudden accidents. One day, not long after my reaching here, I realized I was taking an entirely incorrect approach, accounting for my uncomfortableness with reality. It came to me during a speculation and would change my life forever. I was focusing of dying while I should be focusing on living.

I thought of Henry Martin Robert Frost's phrase, "Miles to travel before I sleep," and experienced an contiguous transmutation in my thinking, therefore my life. I believe most of us, aware of approaching death, have got a inclination to look to the past in order to analyze our legacy. While I may not always have got made the perfect determinations in my past, I am comfy that I made the best I could, considering my options and ability at the time. Our bequest is not words etched in stone, but our actions and is establish in the hearts, heads and liquor of those we have got touched along the journey. I am comfy with what I have got accomplished in that regard, having dedicated my life to helping others. As for the future? It stays unknown but whose hereafter ever really is? And is it all that important? No. The lone thing that is of import is what we make with the here and now.

Are we making the most of each and every moment? Each breath? Each thought? That is what life is all about. That realisation helped me grip the existent significance of life and recover a sense of intent and passionateness that had abated over the former few months. I felt re-energized and filled with an expanded awareness, gratitude, joyousness and love, not to advert renewed intent and passion. My life isn't over. It is just beginning.

I stopped viewing my status as a curse word and began perceiving it as a gift. By embracing death, I had learned how to live, not just survive. By embracing and accepting death, I was free to dwell to my fullest potential. I stopped worrying about malignant neoplastic disease and welcomed it, even to the point of now referring to it as "my gift." It maintains me focused on the here and now. As soon as I changed my thinking, my life also changed.

During day-to-day meditation, I direct my disease love, rather than fighting it. As a result, I have got gotten stronger. The terror and anxiousness onslaughts no longer assail me. The incubuses and flashbacks of warfare ceased. I have got got arrived at one of the most big determinations I have ever made.

I love Thailand. I left United States 10 old age ago by pick and have got enjoyed life here very much. I never intended to go back "home" again. Kingdom Of Thailand have go my home. However, it is clip to leave. For one thing, I desire and demand to be with my married woman again. We have got been apart too long. We did not put 38 old age into our matrimony in order to dwell apart and alone during our future years. She cannot leave of absence her father so it is clip for me to travel to her and share the duty of taking attention of a fantastic adult male who have always given us so much.

Secondly, there are still many people in the human race who could still profit from the doctrine of Transformational Thinking and there are three people in United States who desire to larn how to learn it to future generations. It is clip to learn them. There is another friend from Republic Of Ghana who is very actively involved in an international attempt to assist larn immature people how to go leadership of tomorrow who also desires to learn how to learn Transformational Thinking and he is currently staying in America. Oddly enough, he wrote me last nighttime telling me he had just received word that his female parent had died in Republic Of Ghana and I spent hours on-line with him helping him work through his grief, hurting and shock. Iodine was glad I was here to assist him.

We waste material far too much clip and energy chasing the replies to the two top enigmas of life: Why are we here and what haps when we die? I have got finally establish the reply to both: It doesn't matter! Living with intent and passionateness in the here and now takes attention of the former question. We can and must each make our ain intent and prosecute it with unbridled passion. As for the second, living life to the fullest and with expanded consciousness do the latter inquiry a disputed one. I simply don't have got the desire or clip to worry about the future.

I will be leaving my darling Kingdom Of Thailand in less than three weeks. Another friend in the United States have generously offered to pay my airplane menu from Phuket to Garrison Lauderdale. What am I going to make when I acquire there? I don't know. I will calculate that out when the clip comes. Right now, I am only focused on the here and now. I am totally free! I am filled with happiness, gratitude and fulfillment. I am ready to get the adjacent leg of what have always been an exciting escapade of find and learning. I am alive! What a fantastic gift I have got been given!

What is Ego

Many modern times during a human race life span we experience our egotism is necessary so that we are able to work fully as intelligent beingnesses and to cover with the existent world. But having these feelings also inhibits us and do us fear.

Having an egotism offprints us from the existence and from God, this enactment of separation do the fearfulness of loss. It is this fearfulness of loss that brands us desire control. Control of the existence and everything in it - if we cannot control it we may lose it. The Ego Michigan us trusting in the universe.

It is Ego that is stopping people experiencing the pleases of what the existence have to offer. Without Ego we can go limitless and boundless. We can happen new powers, new creativity, new chances for growth, for love, for harmony, peace and joyousness in our lives that before we allow travel of our Ego we could not get to conceive.

How make you free yourself of Ego? We have got all been taught to allow your head do the determinations and not to listen to your heart. Your head after all, is a terrific machine and can work anything out. Ego is this barrier between the bosom and the mind. The demand to show your positions on a given subject - because you 'know' it to be right, regardless of whether people desire to listen or not. Ignoring the feelings of others because your actions are the 'right' actions to take. These are both illustrations of the Ego at work. Both illustrations of our demand to 'control'. The Ego believes it cognizes best. The voice of the bosom doesn't stand up a chance.

We have got not been taught that what is simple is what is right. The existence runs simply. Balance and harmoniousness in the natural world, in the animate being world. Any human race that makes not have got Ego, runs very simply. It looks the end of Negro spiritual beliefs to spell back us to our connexion to that universe, to our Eternity so that we, too, can dwell simply, in balance and harmoniousness with all that is. If indeed this is the goal, the intent of that goal, the intent of letting travel of ego, is to also allow spell of the changeless fearfulness in which we all live.

Letting go of Ego is a very difficult lesson to learn. Very hard. But despite its difficulty, it looks to be the lone lesson if it is your end to accomplish peace. Or enlightenment. It is the lone lesson if your end is to attain that topographic point where you can truly say: "I don't desire to be better than you; I desire to be better than me."

And so letting spell of the egotism is a difficult process, which is also a very chilling process. But losing the egotism is also a fantastic thing. It conveys us closer to our hearts. It enables us to experience more than than we have got ever felt. It can enable us to see ourselves in a totally different manner and in doing so, happen new dimensions to ourselves. The loss of egotism may give us the sense that we are living near to our souls. Until we begin the procedure of turning down and finally shutting off the voice of Ego, the voice of our Black Maria cannot be heard.

One manner to begin this procedure is to acknowledge when your Ego coming into play. Whether it is by you wanting to rectify someone, explicate that their positions are wrong (in your head anyway), if you experience choler at person for their actions towards you. Then admit these feelings to yourself, be it confusion, anger, hatred, or frustration,what ever they may be. Just experience them flowing through your body. Bash not act. Just feel. Stop yourself from reacting. From passing judgement. Just allow it be. Gradually overtime the Ego will not be as strong and will begin to loosen it's throw over your heart. This not only do you aware of how often your Ego come ups into play, it will also astonish you how quickly you begin to experience different in yourself. How the peace within you turns as your Ego diminishes.

The remotion of egotism is a Negro spiritual idea. It takes the word form of existent human race experiences. Supreme Being is us and we are God's operatives. These experiences that Supreme Being gives us are of import not so much for what they are but more than for what they teach. And one version of what they learn is that they are there to let us to cast our egotism and link with God. And one ground we necessitate to link with Supreme Being is to allow us to let travel of fear. And one ground we necessitate to allow travel of fearfulness is that it is fearfulness that offprints us from each other and in so doing, maintains us from determination ourselves.

What's Your Marathon? Passing the Test

I was trade name new to running, living with diabetes and preparation for my first marathon. As my first diagnostic test run, I entered a 5K race called, "Run for the Cure," in support of breast malignant neoplastic disease research. It was the first of respective obstructions I encountered, long before I even started the marathon. Here's what helped:

Facing Fears - The nighttime before the 5K race, my ideas were racing with concerns about what to make in the morning, what I should eat, and what other people were going to believe when they saw me at the run.

You see, I didn't suit my ain mental image of what a smuggler looks like, and I fully expected that as soon as I walked up to the start line, everyone would halt talking, point, gaze and laugh.

My imaginativeness was running wild. Even with my good support system and so much clip and attempt set into silencing interior and outer critics and edifice up my belief, those fearfulnesses were as existent as ever. I wanted to conceal out and phone call it off.

I knew I had to confront them and challenge them; that I wouldn't be able to make and construct impulse from a foundation of fear. I had to acquire the belief back. So I showed up for the race.

When I did, I saw smugglers all forms and sizes, and more than importantly I saw the marks people carried about the grounds they were running. I looked around and realized they probably had similar fearfulnesses and thoughts, and the fact that we were all facing them together helped me a lot.

We can't allow fearfulness halt us from starting. If we make we've allow it overcome us.

Clearing Hurdles - With any end you have, in any country of life, you'll confront obstacles. It's important to believe ahead and come up up with schemes to defeat then. And just as of import is what we make with the obstructions we didn't predict.

Early on in my training, my greatest obstructions were the sensitive musculuses and pain. It reminded me of my first clip on the water ice to play field hockey after the summertime break.

Managing my diabetes and blood refined refined sugar degrees was another obstruction - I had blood sugar clangs and spikes and reconciliation my diet was a changeless challenge.

But the greatest obstruction of all came just two calendar months before I was scheduled to run the endurance contest in Rome. I was playing field hockey and I dislocated my shoulder. The hurting was incredible - I knew right away that my original clip framework was no longer possible. I wasn't allowed to run for 10 weeks.

I didn't allow it halt me; I did what I could to maintain up my training, by riding the motorcycle and walking. I accepted the state of affairs and just saw it as a postponement. As soon as I could, I started running again. With the solid foundation of preparation I'd had, it wasn't like starting again. I put my sights on the George Vancouver marathon, just 10 hebdomads away.

Reset - Running was really painful with that dislocated shoulder, and so I needed to refocus and acquire connected to why I was doing the endurance contest in the first place.

It's wish that after any setback. Take eating, for example. You can do some unhealthy picks but then refocus and acquire right back on track. We all have got our small slumps, from athletics hard roes to every twenty-four hours folks.

I used to work in a restaurant, where each waiter was responsible for 8 or 9 tables. We might have got three sets of people at each tabular array per night, and each tabular array would be a completely different experience.

In between sittings, we had to make clean the tabular array and reset it for the adjacent group. No substance how good or bad each sitting was, they left and we would reset for a new experience.

After my injury, reverse in my preparation agenda and lacking the Roma marathon, I had to refocus on my end and "reset the table." Life offers a series of tests, obstructions and challenges. How will you ran into them?

(c) Ted Shawn Shepheard, 2007.

The Obvious Truth - Revelation

Many people told me I'm giving too much valuable information entirely free of charge; others told me that I'm helping people through respective land sites only because I desire to sell my ebooks...

Some people onslaught me, while other people admire me and show me how thankful they are for what I am teaching them.

I believe we must have got got a communication, since we are on the Internet, I compose an article per twenty-four hours for you or even two if I have the time, and I desire to reply all your questions.

I experience that it's my duty to give you as much information as I can in the short articles I compose everyday, because I discovered exactly what provokes depression, daftness and self-destructive inclinations and how we can be cured by following the ways we have in our dreamings from the wise unconscious.

This is similar to saying that I discovered how to feed world without any job forever. I cannot maintain such as a secret to myself... I have got the duty to feed the crowd that is hungry and demands bread.

I'm proving three basic truths to the world:

1. The human beingness is basically a demon, since the greatest portion of one's psychical domain belongs to the wild conscience, which is violent and wicked and one's relatively little human scruples is idiotic, since it works based only on one completely developed psychological mathematical function and the unreasonable egotism that Pbs the scruples to the maze of daftness with its unreasonable desires.

2. The unconscious that bring forths the dreamings is directed by God, who really bes and is really as angelic as presented by all religions.

The wise nature of the unconscious is perfect and we can swear it completely. The wise unconscious constantly seeks to salvage the human side of our scruples from the invasion of the wild anti-conscience that is demoniac and desires to destruct it.

If we obey to the ways we have in dreamings not only can we forestall and remedy depression, daftness and self-destructive inclinations but we can also go geniuses.

The unconscious attempts to develop all our psychological functions, since three of them are dysfunctional because they belong to the wild side. They must be transformed, so that they go a portion of the human side and assist us judge the human race and our states of affairs much better.

3. The ignorant and wicked person beingness must obey God's directions, given by the unconscious through dreams, so that world may be saved from panic and desperation and larn how to dwell peacefully and happily on Earth.

Therefore, Iodine am not so special: the wise unconscious revealed everything to me. I only had to analyze the books that I came across, to follow the counsel from my dreams, to be a good pupil and to be patient.

I am only a dreaming translator-the existent physician is the wise unconscious.

This is why I can vouch your cure.

The existent physician is the 1 who cognizes everything about you; it is not me, the ignorant human being who translates the wise dreaming messages.

This is why I desire to learn you how to construe your dreamings by yourself, instead of billboard this secret. You can have got the same privilege: you can larn everything I cognize and pass on with the unconscious.

This is the breadstuff of ageless life!

At the same time, this is the end of craziness, panic and force on Earth.